Let it go...

There certain things that we come across in life that tend to somehow stick to us because of how they resonate with us, touch or affect us.

A few years back I read, or was it watched or heard?? (for the life of me I can't remember which is which) a phrase that has been one of those that stuck to me to this very day. It goes along something like this;

 "Never let the actions of others affect who you are".

See, as individuals, we are each different and unique in our own ways. We each have our own values, beliefs, behaviors with respect to how we treat other individuals. However, I have come to find that many a times, we let the actions of others affect how we are. We let circumstances change us into behaving in ways we never would have, to the extent that sometimes we even surprise ourselves. 

In my last post I briefly mentioned how the past weekend wasn't necessarily my best one. My initial reaction to the events of the weekend (I don't mean to make it sound so suspenseful lol) was naturally, as a human to harbor negative feelings. It honestly took me a while to work through everything in my head and get to a place where I could think rationally. 

So yesterday, as I was out and about, I just realized how much power I had given to whatever it was that was bothering me. I realized that I was letting things, that shouldn't really matter in the first place, take up so much of my mind and in the process the negative feelings were slowly making me become a person I really am not. 

See, we are who we are and that is our identity, we cannot and absolutely should not let anyone or anything change us into something else. Nothing should have that kind of power over us.

For me, as I remembered this quote, I was reminded to simply let go; I may not have power over the actions of other people, but I definitely have power over how I react to these actions. I refuse to let myself change into a different person based on the actions of other people; whatever happens will not affect who I am as a person. 

I know it's not an easy thing to accomplish but I believe it's worth the effort.

Anne xo

Bits and pieces.....

I honestly had a bit of a difficult weekend; while I am not going to share anything in here, I just thought I would share these few quotes, all courtesy of Instagram, that really helped me (still are).

Hope you lovelies had a great one and wish you a great week ahead!

Anne xo

The Little Things...

I'm not going to address the fact that it has literally been months since my last post so let's just move right along okay? But I guess by starting off like that IS me addressing that huh? Oh well.

A few days ago I had a bit of a light-bulb moment. And yes when you read this you might think that it's actually common sense blah blah blah but hey, to each their own opinion right?

Back to my point, you know how we're always waiting for a, b and or c to happen thinking that when it does we are FINALLY going to be happy? Yeah, that's not happening. I mean sure, you might actually end up being happy when whatever it is you're waiting for happens but lets be honest that kind of happiness more often than not ends up being unsustainable.

Now, I'm like most people so I'm not going to sit here and say that I am always the happiest person alive because that's not true (neither are you so don't lie to us, no one really is simply because of our nature as humans; but hey if you're, say an alien and reading this, please do comment and maybe you could teach us human folk a thing or two about always being happy etc).

I am in no way trying to say that sustainable happiness is impossible, quite the contrary. My light-bulb moment just simply put some things in perspective. Yes we have bigger goals and achievements which we feel will guarantee our happiness however in our search for these achievements, we tend to over-look the small things that have the ability to make us truly happy. There are moments, for me at least, throughout the day, that bring me genuine happiness and joy. Thing is, most times I tend to let myself live in such moments for only short periods of times before my mind puts it all at the back of my head and again I am back chasing the bigger goal.

While keeping our eye on what in our minds we feel is 'the bigger picture', I think it's important not to take the little things for granted. The things that make us smile, happy and joyful, however insignificant they may seem at the moment. A simple example for me is when I get in my car, on my way to work or as I am going back home, being alone and listening to music is just absolute bliss! (No, it really is, I'm not exaggerating).

I encourage you to try your very best to focus on collecting these little moments and the joyful emotions they bring. I have a feeling that the "secret" to sustainable happiness really isn't that complicated, it simply lies in the little things...

Anne xo

Expectations

Throughout the years we have (obviously) met and interacted with different people. Some have had more of an impact in our lives than others. Aside from that, through, call it chemistry or fate or whatever you choose to, we have grown close to some of these people while not necessarily growing close to others.

Now, I've always been a very accepting of other people and their differences in characters. I am friends with all kinds of people from all walks of life because to me, as long as I have the right chemistry with you, we can be friends regardless of whatever differences we may have in other aspects. I mean, I don't have to accept what you believe in, be it political, religious etc. For me its quite simple, who you are as a person and how you treat other people is what matters the most.

Society has more often than not placed a lot of expectations on how people should be. In this case I'm not talking about the social norms of how people treat one another and how society behaves in general because in that case I believe we need social norms to guide how we act towards one another. I mean it's not like I want people to be thieves or to just go around killing or anything like that.

What I'm on about right now is the way society wants people to be and act on a personal level. How you're supposed to be doing this at this age and that at that age. I think every single one of us was made in a unique way and making people conform to what is considered 'normal' is forcing people to lose who they really are and get lost as individuals. I, as well as some of my 20-something friends, have at times found ourselves asking and questioning our identities as individuals; trying to 'find ourselves' so to speak, and yes I do see how corny that sounds but this is how I can best explain it.

After some reflection, I came to realize that, because everyone is different, there are people who have somehow managed to make rules as to how people are 'supposed to be'....these "select" few have created expectations of the society. You're supposed to follow a certain specified path from birth to death. Sure you can slightly deviate but not too much because then you will be frowned upon. It's these expectations that ultimately put pressure on us and force us to be not who we really are but rather what we are 'expected' to be.

I for one believe in being true to one's self. I believe we have all been made unique and special and just magical and to be anything less than who we really are is nothing short of robbing ourselves of the best experience we can and should have in life. Its okay to sometimes make mistakes, veer off to a path that may end up hurting us because I believe everything, regardless how horrible it seems, happens for a reason and maybe it's necessary to pass through it even if it may not make sense at the time.

I believe in being myself, my true self for all intents and purposes and if this 'society' doesn't seem to agree with that then it's okay as long as I'm being true to myself. Those who accept us in our true selves are after all the one's worth having in this magical ride call life. So I say, be true to yourself, love, be kind to everyone and just live your life YOUR way. As for society's expectations? Well you live your life for you, not the society....remember how you were born alone and will ultimately be buried alone? Yeah exactly.

Till next time!

Anne xo

Musings...

In my last post here I mentioned how I had a lot to write about and how I couldn't digest my ideas and write them down. Almost a month later and my head is still a jumbled mess. Okay maaaybe I'm exaggerating a little bit here because it kinda sounds like I'm walking around totally confused and can barely function. That's really not what I mean. 

What I am saying is that I have a lot of ideas about how I want to deal with my blog especially in long term goals and having to figure that out while sorting out my post ideas has been a little tricky. Okay so I started out with a particular path for this post but I feel lost.....(see what I mean? It's not even a joke guys).

So, about my many ideas; I have an honest passion for this blog and it honestly is one of the few things that are constantly a source of joy and even excitement for me (however far-apart my posts may be, this is completely true....no, seriously). I have been following and reading different kinds of blogs ranging from food blogs, fashion blogs, personal blogs and so forth and lately I have been getting more and more inspired to let my own blog grow. It just feels like I can be or do so much more than I am doing right now and if blogging at this scale feels this good, imagine how it will feel when it's on an even larger scale? I do realize at this point that I may not be making much sense to whichever poor soul is reading this, or maybe I am....I don't know.

Anyway, I have realized that writing about this, like I am doing right now, is actually helping me to focus on the many ideas and thoughts all jumbled in my head. *light-bulb moment*.

So to whoever is reading this, my advice to you is, if you find yourself a little confused and overwhelmed about work, school, personal issues or whatever it is that seems so overwhelming, maybe take a step back and instead of trying to tackle the whole entire thing, try going at it little by little....piece by piece, it will make things so much easier and manageable. I mean, look at me right? 

Till next time.

PS: I just love this illustration and yes I know it totally has NOTHING to do with the post other than for the obvious aesthetic purposes. You can check out more of this talented lady's work here where I linked her Instagram account.

Anne xo

Food for Thought

I have a lot to post about but for some reason my thoughts are all jumbled up in my head. So I'm going to give myself time and let my head breathe for a while before I put them all down. Don't forget to listen to your body, it often knows more than we think and always steers us in the right direction. If it doesn't feel right at the moment, give it time, don't force yourself. You'll find much better results after.

In the mean time I thought I'd share a few insightful words.

Anne xo

Forgiveness

We have all been taught by religion, society, our parents etc on forgiveness. That it is important to forgive those who have wronged and hurt us in whatever way; for those like me raised in a home where our religious faith was very important to us, we were taught that forgiving is the right thing to do because often we commit wrongs (sin) and just as we ask for forgiveness from God, we too should extend the same forgiveness to others.

This is no doubt a very important lesson; however I feel a lot of emphasis is pressed on learning to forgive others while self-forgiveness is most times forgotten.

I don't know about you guys but often times I tend to be too hard on myself. Whenever I feel that I have done wrong, whether it is against some other person or just not doing what I feel is my responsibility to do and for one reason or another I am unable to do.

Its easy to forget that we are only human therefore prone to make mistakes. We carry the guilt of whatever it is we have done or not done (as the case may be)  for long periods of time even when those we have wronged have already forgiven us.

Personally this has proven to be a  very unhealthy habit and has at times even has consequences to my health as I had addressed in this previous post. I think, forgiving others who have wronged you is a very important thing in life because it frees you from a lot of baggage carried otherwise. However, equally and even more so important is forgiving yourself. None of us is perfect and we make mistakes from time to time. It's all an important process in life because in making mistakes we tend to learn very important lessons. Every time we make a mistake, even without realizing it, we experience a huge amount of personal growth.

So I say, as much as you forgive others, learn to forgive yourself as well. Take whatever lesson you can from the situation, better yourself and move the hell on. Keeping all this guilt never does anyone any good. Personally it just robs me of joy for life and living in general.

Life is much too short for you to be responsible for the lack of your own joy right? I think so.
Till next time!

Anne xo

Disclaimer: All the images used in this post are from various inspirational accounts on Instagram.